Belated Anniversary

Since we spent the eve of our 9th Wedding Anniversary in the basement of my in-laws house waiting out Tornado Warnings (as we did 3 of the previous 4 nights as well) I didn't get a chance to work on my annual Anniversary blog. Good thing I live by the rule of 'better late than never!'

Reasons Why I Love My Husband: Part 3

He's good at putting babies to sleep.

Lots of babies..

And even when his 'babies' aren't ready to sleep.. he tries to lead by example.

He works hard to provide meals for us,

and takes his job very serious,

no matter what job it is.

Yes,  that is a goat. Yes, he is milking it. Yes, this was totally my idea.

Oh, and our kids might look just a little like him..

He teaches our children how to best sit around

even at 14,000 feet altitude

And he makes a 15 hour camping trip.. well.. a lot more interesting. 

"I'm a talking tent head"

 I know I tease him a lot (trust me.. he has it coming) but he really does do so much for us and I know I don't thank him enough.

Who else would put in a full day's work, then drive a 6 hour round trip to pick up 150 baby chicks for us?

 He paints his little girl's nails whenever she wants,

teaches her about important things like fish,

touching the fish seemed like a good idea.. who knew it would be slimy?

 and is a all-around 

great dad.

There's so much else-he remembers my favorite kind of wine, allows me my American Idol indulgence on Wednesday nights, always ALWAYS thanks me for making supper, tells me I'm beautiful, leaves just the right amount of coffee for me every morning, and even though he broke my brand new Pampered Chef egg cooker the night of our anniversary, I know his attempt at cleaning the kitchen for me was well intentioned. 

 The other night when I was certain a tornado was headed straight for our house, he didn't hesitate (okay, there might have been a slight hesitation and moderate eye roll) to run home and grab my external hard drive and entire computer (since I haven't backed up my pictures for awhile-add that to the to-do list..) in case our home was leveled. And just tonight he rescued me from a tiny baby bat who must have fallen through our chimney.

 EWWWWWW.....

 I still have the heebie-jeebies.

So just like I posted on Facebook the other night..

"Happy Anniversary JJ! There's no one else I would rather have spent almost every night this week huddled in your parent's basement, taking cover from tornadoes with. Mostly because.. well.. it would be a little awkward to be huddled in your parent's basement with anyone but you.. but also because after 9 years I still kinda like being around you. Most days.. :) love you honey! "

Ella's Run

I've been wanting to post about Ella's Run since.. well.. the night after Ella's Run, but this whole summer break thing/somebody needing something every second of the day thing/washing at least one (or 2) loads of dirty towels every single day thing/everybody staying up playing outside until 10:00pm, plus not even napping thing/the garden needs planting, weeding, the yard needs mowing constantly thing/two weeks of sick kids and I am just so over this hacking all the time thing/I told the boys they couldn't play t-ball because, you know, we can play baseball at home anytime and they are holding me to that because they want to play baseball all.the.time (and it's totally not fair when they beat me because they are big ol cheaters) thing/not getting a single spare minute to myself all day thing.. it's been exhausting. I took all the kids grocery shopping yesterday for the first time and even with my low expectations, I was still surprised. You guys.. it took us 2 hours to get out the door, we were in town for 4 1/2 hours, and we only hit 2 stores and the library. Oye..

Anyways.. Ella's Run. It was awesome. And we are SO thankful for everyone's support. I honestly feel incredibly blessed to have been a part of this experience. I think the most amazing thing to witness was how so many people came together and shared their talents and resources for a goal bigger than themselves. We've always tried to teach our kids about how God gives each person their own set of talents and special gifts and our job is to find out what those are and do good with them. I will admit to putting my own little spin in it a few times.. See boys.. see how mommy isn't very talented at keeping the house clean or the laundry folded and put away? Well, that's okay because God just didn't give me those talents. But He did give me lots of other special talents like.. like.. well. There are other things I'm good at. I'm sure..

Honestly though, to see in action the wide variety of people's talents and the pure goodness of people's hearts was really an unforgettable experience. From the owner of a local meat locker who read our story in the newspaper and called me up one day volunteering to donate all the meat to our Spaghetti Supper, to the bottling company who donated water bottles for the run, to my crafty friends (and some people I didn't even know) who made things for our silent auction/raffle, to businesses donating gift cards, to the 10 year old little girl who called her mom at work adamantly asking her to stop at the store and pick up baking supplies on her way home so she could bake cookies to sell at a garage sell to raise money for Ella and who excitedly ran up to me the next day exclaiming how she did "sooooo good" and handed over $23.75 (LOVE her), to a local newspaper donating advertising space, to the old man with a prothetic leg who hobbled up the driveway to our freewill donation rummage sale and dropped a check in the jar and hobbled back down again without saying a word, to the countless donations and cards we received from friends and family and sometimes complete strangers. Perhaps my most favorite donation was a card from a sweet elderly lady that came in the mail one day. Enclosed was a note saying that she didn't have much to give, but she knew that every little bit helps. Inside was a check for $5. I still tear up today thinking about her generosity and sacrifice and thoughtfulness.  

Isn't that the whole idea? The fact that we don't have to give it all to make a difference. We don't have to single handedly solve the world's problems or fund major projects that impact millions of people. If we all just give what we can, whether it be time or supplies or gifts or talents or money or resources or just plain showing up. It makes a difference. I know I've fallen victim to the excuse of "Well, we don't have that much to give so I'm sure our little contribution won't make much of an impact. I'll just let someone with more money take care of that and make a bigger difference." Let me tell you.. it does make a difference. Whether it's $23.75 or if it's just $5. It makes a difference. 

We have been so humbled by this experience and even just sitting at the Spaghetti Supper and looking around at all the people that came out to support us by eating (I mean, is there even a better way in all the world to support somebody than by eating??) was so awesome. Towards the end, our 'fundraising' became much less about the money and much more about sharing experiences with people. It really does make the hard days much easier-knowing what a supportive community we are part of, even if you all can't be here in person every day to help with the terrible 3 screaming fits of rage. (But if anyone's in the area and wants to stop by...) 

We are constantly looking around for ways we can help and give back and I truly hope that by helping us, we have helped others as well. I hope that the little girl who stayed up late in her pj's baking cookies to sell for Ella always remembers that no matter your age, you can make a difference. I hope that Ella's brothers always feel as proud as they did the day they ran the 5K 'to help my sister' (even though they rode in the golf cart part of the way.. See? CHEATERS) I hope everyone who gave got joy out of giving. And I hope you all know how thankful we are for each and every one of you for making a difference in our lives.

California or BUST!

CdLS Awareness Day

Today was CdLS Awareness Day. And as I look around on Facebook and enjoy all the photos of people in their awareness shirts or decked out in purple (the official color of CdLS) I can't help but think about how far we've come since we first heard about this day.

Back then I wanted nothing to do with CdLS. Today I clearly see the blessings it has brought to our life.

Back then I didn't want to hear any more about it. Today I write a blog and willingly tell the world about our Ella.

Back then I just wanted it to go away. Today I listen to the giggles of a little girl jumping on the couch and can't think of a better sound.

Back then I couldn't talk to a soul about CdLS or Ella without bursting into tears.

This year couldn't be any different.

In the last week our family has been featured in 2 local newspapers for Ella's Run, the fundraiser we're doing to raise money to go to Conference.






And good grief you guys.. Tomorrow morning a news crew is coming to our house to film a story about us, and on Wednesday we're going LIVE on another station to promote Ella's Run. I know we live in a pretty rural area and it's not like they're flying us to the TODAY show or anything (yet) but still.. This raises some pretty big issues around here. Like 1. Does this mean I should take down the final remaining Christmas decoration on our wall? 2. Should I attempt to finish our half painted living room tonight? and 3. Is it possible to lose 10 pounds before the morning??

In all seriousness though, we have come so far on this journey and are so excited to be raising awareness about CdLS. Being honest about it has opened so many doors and introduced us to so many people we wouldn't otherwise have known. We have been shown love and acceptance and generosity beyond measure. I can't imagine what life would be like if we had stayed alone and scared and unwilling to open up to others. This year I can honestly say I am thankful for CdLS is our lives.

Happy CdLS Awareness Day to all our cuties out there!!

Oh yeah.. I may or may not be posting a link to our video, depending on how big of a fool I make out of myself. (-:

The Big Girl Bed

It seems like I've had a lot of 'Wow-look-at-how-amazing-Ella-is-doing' posts lately. The excitement of being able to dress her different kinds of shoes, wear hats, laugh and giggle and play with her in the tub (well.. until it's time to wash her hair at least) watch her walk outside by herself, and see her amazing personality emerge and blossom is so overwhelming. I hope with all my heart that I never make anyone feel bad whose child might not be doing any particular one of these things. It's absolutely true that our kids each develop along their own set of rules, in their own time, and surprise us at every turn. I share Ella's triumphs to offer hope to others who might need it at that time. However.. in an effort to even things out a little I'm now going to share about Ella and her bed. 

Scenario: Ella still sleeps in her crib. 

Problem: Not so little brother Hudson needs the crib. 

Solution: Move Ella to a big girl bed. 

Easy, right? Well, we thought so. We got out the toddler bed and at first Ella seemed to LOVE it. 

There was lots of giggling,

and clapping,

and happy faces. 

Until it was time to actually go to sleep on the bed.

Then there was lots of tears,

and flailing,

and hysterical crying for an hour.

(No I don't have pictures of that. Geez, I'm not a monster, people..)

Needless to say we haven't even tried it again. An hour battle at naptime (or *gasp* bedtime for that matter) is not something I have time or energy to endure every day right now.

However, the toddler bed remains in her room. One could argue that I'm just being lazy and not willing to put forth the hard work necessary to guide Ella with this transition. Or one could more efficiently argue that I am testing the very important scientific theory of selective exposure and therefore slowly over time training Ella's mind to adapt her attitude to accept the favorable evidence while ignoring the unfavorable and helping her overcome the predetermined prejudice she seems to have against the toddler bed.

I'll let you decide.

For now, the bed serves as a cozy tablet-playing nook

just right for watching baby faces.

It is also a perfect step stool for turning the lights off.

And on. And off. And on.

After discovering her in her crib one day when no one had put her there, we even realized the toddler bed is a great ladder for getting into the crib!

Now that Ella knows how to climb in to her bed, it raises the concern of when she will try to climb out of her bed.

Good thing she's far too cautious for that.

Or not..

Weighted Blankets

Last fall while discussing some of Ella's sensory issues with our OT, she mentioned something to me about weighted blankets and I've been toying with the idea ever since. If you've never heard of a weighted blanket before, basically it's exactly what it sounds like. A blanket with weight in it. Most are made with small plastic beads called poly-pellets that are sewn inside and completely machine washable (think: a bunch of bean bags sewn together). The blankets can be any size, fabric, texture or weight (although they recommend not more than 10-15% of the person's body weight) and are used a lot with kids who have autism. I've heard the blankets can help calm anxiety and provide much need sensory input for kids who need it. 

Last week I finally decided to try my hand at making my own weighted blanket and was originally going to just make one for Ella. However, after thinking about it for awhile I realized a certain older child of mine who has a little more difficulty sitting still and focusing might benefit from one as well. Since I didn't want to single him out and make him feel different, I decided the other boy needed one as well (and since he always complains of being cold I used that as a cop-out as to why he needed one). And naturally since Hudson has decided to claim the title of "World's Worst Sleeper," with much wishful thinking I decided that perhaps if he had a weighted blanket as well maybe it would feel more like I was holding him (the only way he'll sleep good).

Visions of a full night's sleep, restful nap times, reduced temper tantrums, and a calm supper table danced through my head as I sewed these blankets. I finally finished them and I will say.. the kids really like them. Whether its because they feel special that I sewed them their very own blanket or because they are benefitting from the weight-the jury's still out. If you don't look too close they turned out pretty good. Here is what the older boys' look like. 

I made all the blankets about 18"x21" so they would be lap pads (but mostly because I was being cheap and could get away with using 1/4 yard of material for each the front and back that way). The front I used a cotton print and the back is minky-for a little extra touch of sensory texture. They weigh around 2-3 pounds each. I probably should have sewed some sort of strap on them because they seem to amazingly always fall off their laps at suppertime, leading to much squirreling around under the table..

I wish I could say this guy was sleeping through the night and taking longer naps with his blanket, but not so much yet.
Good thing he's cute.

And today at lunch while I was thinking about what to write in this post about these blankets Ella got down from the table, ran to the couch and grabbed her blanket, drug it all the way back to the table, and insisted on sitting with it on her lap.

So apparently she likes it. 

If you like these and think your child would benefit from a weighted blanket, send me a message or let me know.

 A fellow CdLS mom has been making awesome custom ones as a fundraiser to go to Conference. 

I can hook you up.

Walk a mile in Ella's.. boots?

Shoes.

For a long time Ella has refused to wear anything but soft soled shoes. 

It's not for lack of wanting.

Ella's closet

Or opportunity.

basket of shoes by the door

Or choices.

and boots

(Thankfully we have some awesome fashionista friends who like to hand shoes down to us!)

It was entirely from lack of cooperation. The soft soled shoes only thing was okay in the beginning.. They do make some cute ones. But I mean seriously.. have you taken a stroll down the little girl's aisle of shoes lately?? OH the cuteness.. The past 2 years I've tried to avoid that aisle at all costs. Turned the cart around if it was headed that direction, closed my eyes if I saw it approaching. Once in a weak moment I stood and gazed at an end display of Spring Easter shoes. I almost cried. Maybe I did. Ella would NEVER wear any of those shoes and I had no reason to hope she ever would. I was actually looking into patterns to make my own soft soled shoes for when she got older and didn't fit into the kids ones. 

And then one day she started bringing me shoes out of the maybe-someday-she'll-wear-these-but-I-doubt-it basket and wanting me to put them on. 

And she tried them on. And liked them. And wore them around the house. 

And I thought things couldn't possibly get better.

And then she discovered her mud-boots-that-I-thought-would-be-too-small-and-she-would-never-approve-of-because-the-one-day-I-tried-to-put-her-in-tall-boots-for-church-she-spent-the-entire-mass-barefoot. And she was in love with them. And obsessed about them. And wore them everywhere.

And I thought nothing could possibly be as cute as seeing this all day..

And then when I was taking the picture of Ella's closet to write this post we rediscovered Ella's pink cowboy boots. The ones she wore 2 years ago before her shoe relationship fizzled. I thought there was no way they would fit since.. you know.. she wore them 2 years ago. But apparently this girl's feet have barely grown since then. (They're about the same size as Hudson's..)

And then I discovered this jacket. And this dress. 

And you guys.. if Ella actually wears this I think I might die. Really I do.

If you don't hear from me for a few days, someone might want to check on me. 

I'll probably be in cuteness coma.

***Update***

After I had written this I went upstairs to put Hudson down for a nap and what did I walk back to see? While I was gone Daddy had seen the outfit I had out and assumed that was what I wanted her to wear (Well.. yeah.. I did. Buuut...) put it on her, AND painted her nails to match.

Lord, take me now. 

Yes, she has pigtail braids here. Yes, I can die a happy woman.

Dad of the year??

I decided I would be totally fine if we lived in Laura Ingalls time when people wore one dress for an entire week and this was it for Ella. Every single day. I could handle that.

This recent shoe/boot obsession/development is incredibly/obviously exciting to me. But I'm still a little skeptical that Ella will go totally wild and do something crazy like wear flip flops this summer. Don't worry though.. we've got 3 pairs just in case. :)

California Update

I know many of you saw it on Facebook, but a few weeks months ago our boys' school did a fundraiser for our family to help get Ella to California to the CdLS National Conference. The school had approached me asking if they could do a change drive where kids would hit up their unsuspecting parents for spare coins to bring to school to put together in a jar. This type of sabotage by innocent wide eyes would be properly fueled by a competition between the classes and the promise of a pizza party to the class with the highest amount (and of course all in the good natured spirit of giving as well..). I thought it was a great idea- a good way to introduce Ella to the kids she will soon call her peers and help teach them about differences and kindness and giving and helping others. A way to take the first proverbial step into our school system and lay the foundation alongside the people who will all too soon be entrusted to care for her. So Ella and I took a deep breath, strapped on our boots, and stood in front of the entire school one day and talked to all the kids about CdLS. If you would have told me a few years ago I would be doing that I would have laughed (and cried) in your face. We talked about how having CdLS affects Ella and how it makes some things about Ella a little different, but also how she's just a kid like them, a sometimes pesky little sister, who often will just need a little extra help learning and doing things. (No I did not practice my speech in my head nonstop for an entire week. I was totally cool..)

Anyways.. we live in a very small, very rural community. I expected people to send pennies. Maybe a few nickels. I'm not proud of this, but honestly? That's probably what I would have sent. It's a change drive. I tend to take things literally. I would have sent change. The kids could have dug a few tarnished coins out of the bottom of my purse, proudly packed them in their backpacks, and we would have all went about our day. At the very very most I thought maybe the school would have raised a few hundred dollars. Five hundred tops.

Apparently that's not how everyone else took it.

I went in to the assembly the last day of school before Christmas break so I could be given the check. Ella and I stood in front of the entire school again and the principal announced, to the eruption of many cheers, that the 2nd grade had won the contest and raised over $400! (My poor recovering-from-a-tonsillectomy 2nd grader couldn't even be there for the excitement) I'm not sure what I looked like standing up there in front of the entire Elementary School. I hope I looked thankful. And appreciative. But I'm pretty sure I just looked confused. I was certain she made a mistake. The whole school raised over $400, right? (which would have been awesome in itself..) but she went on to say that 2nd place was Kindergarten who raised over $300. *still confused. and then 1st grade who raised over $200.. *huh? The total raised by our very small, very rural school? over $1500.00.

*Shocked.

And completely overwhelmed. I couldn't even speak, I had tears in my eyes the entire day (and right now as I type this.. and months later again as I read over this again), and I was just so grateful. I am absolutely certain we live in the best community EVER. We might not have the nicest weather (oh so many days this winter with -20 to -30, sometimes -50 degree windchill), or the most beautiful scenery (I hear about these things called mountains. And oceans. What are beaches?). We may not live in the wealthiest part of the country (not too many million dollar high rises around here) and definitely not the most populated (our town has... wait for it... 234 people). But I am certain that what we lack in those areas we more than make up for in heart in our small little community.

Over Christmas we continued to be surrounded with love from our amazing family wanting to help-many sacrificing their own Christmas presents and money to put towards our trip. I don't even have words.. Our church and local newspaper wrote up a little article about us and we have had so many donations given and mailed to us from people we either hardly know, or know not at all who just have heard about our trip and want to help us go. Almost weekly we are reminded of our blessings just by opening our mailbox. Thank you THANK YOU everyone!  We are so humbled and reminded that we are here on this earth to help each other. We feel like we have been the receivers of so much love and support-we find ourselves constantly looking around to see where we can be the givers to others in need. This position we're in--this asking for help thing.. I'm not gonna lie- it's definitely not our favorite place to be. But the blog Momastery recently put things in perspective for me. She said:

We Americans are folks who value independence. We really do feel like independence = strong and dependence = weak. Yesterday reminded me that this is some serious bullshit.

Strength is participating fully in life’s rhythms – like being needed and needing. It is being available to help and then being available to be helped. It is taking your turn being the steady shoulder and leaning on another steady shoulder. It is sometimes saying: We Need Help. Because our people need and want to help. That is how we make connections. It’s how we make friendships. We ask people to share their gifts. We allow ourselves to be weak sometimes so that others can be strong.

We might be in a position right now of needing help, but I pray every day that we will be poised and ready when it's our turn to give it away.

Anyways, we are getting super close to our Conference goal. (Would have been there already if it wasn't for that pesky almost $2000 extra dollars for registration fees I somehow miscalculated. Oye..) On our list of things to do:
Reserve hotel rooms: Check
Register for Conference: On my list of things to do today.
Book flight tickets: Ehhhh.. still in the works.
Plan/Organize/Coordinate 5K/Spaghetti Supper/Raffle: Ummmm... any volunteers??

I've been agonizing over dates for the 5K-trying to pick the 'perfect' one. And coming to the obvious conclusion that there is no 'perfect' date. It's looking like the best 2 options are April 12 and May 17. And I keep ping-ponging back and forth between the two. Just as I decide on the April date because it appears as if there's nothing else going on locally that weekend, I remember that the threat of having a foot of snow on the ground that early in the year is a very real possibility. (I was assured that runners don't mind running in the cold. Unfortunately the coordinator of this race most definitely does mind standing in the cold all afternoon.) So then I flip back to May and just as that is sounding great because knee deep snow is less likely (yet still entirely possible I suppose) I remember that although our school's graduation is the week before, there are probably a lot of other area schools with graduations that day. So I go back to April. And look at the calendar and notice that the surrounding weekends are full of other little things requiring substantial planning like Easter, coordinating town Easter egg hunt and stuffing 1000+ Easter eggs, eldest son's 1st Communion, and so on. And the thought of adding a 5K to the mix sends me into a panic. And did anyone else notice how quickly April is coming up?? So I decide.. that's IT! May it is. Until I hear about a local wedding many people will be gone to (see? small town..)... HELP!!

I've already bombarded my crazy-people-I-call-friends-who-do-weird-things-like-run-races-for-fun group with questions the past few weeks so if anyone else wants to chime in (or volunteer to help..) please do! I sort of have this annoying character flaw of being unable to make major decisions without the input of others advice-whether I take it or not, I just like help weighing all the options.

*update since I wrote this. The other day I was talking to someone about the race and describing my predicament with picking a date and she volunteered the idea that I could have it May 18, on Sunday, so it didn't interfere with graduation or the wedding. Oh. Duh! Perfect! (See why I like talking ideas over with people? I can be clueless..) SO unless anyone has any major objections as to why this would be a horrible time to have it, speak now or forever hold your peace. I mean it. FOREVER.

May 18th for a 5K/spaghetti supper sounds great to me! Now who wants to help?? :)