13 years

13 years.. Can you believe it's been that long? 

Could you have ever imagined we'd be where we are now?

Waking up in each others arms.. 

at 3 am...

 to the sound of the dog barfing outside our bedroom door??

Darn Father's Day Fish Fry grease.. 

Every year has it's share of ups and..

well...

downs..

But this year in particular has held a lot of changes for us. 

I wish I knew how you really felt about it.. 

I know starting my photography business has been exhausting at times. 

It's taken a lot of energy

and determination.

But I admire how you're always willing to help me out..

when I'm testing my settings,

need help scouting locations,

Or even trying new poses...

I want you to know I see you. 

And all you do for us. 

You sure know how to make us happy. 

And when we're strapped for enough seating arrangements,

we know we can always count on you

to be available.

Wherever we are.  

 Our life is crazy and chaotic at times, 

 But you always make it fun.

You embrace the chaos, 

and saddle right up to the horse duck. 

I love to watch you pursue your passions.

(sometimes while I can pursue mine at the same time..)

and share those passions with our kids,

teaching them so much about life along the way. 

You are their greatest supporter

and biggest fan. 

And also apparently a better nail painter. 

You still romance me at Valentines Day in your own unique way 

(and ultimately make me feel guilty for not doing anything nice for you..)

And you always make me feel beautiful even when.. wellll...

I love your silliness,

sense of fun,

and adventure.

You build the best snowmen,

and snow tunnels,

and have the most fun snowball fights.

Even the dog prefers you. 

And you know what you're really good at?

That dance called "The Toothpick". 

Some people might know it as "The Floss" but to you and in this house it shall forever be referred to as "The Toothpick" 

So here's to 13 more amazing years of weathering life's storms together. 

There's no one else I'd rather share this life with. 

Good night. 

Peace out.

Ella's Run in Review

It's that time of year again.. time for the FIFTH Annual Ella's Run!!! Can you believe it?? I can't. I can't believe it's been 5 years since we started organizing this event. I can't believe this summer will mark our FOURTH CdLS Conference we've been blessed to attend, which means the first one we attended was SIX YEARS ago and that flew by so incredibly fast and in another 6 years my oldest firstborn sweet baby boy will be a SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL and we'll be planning his graduation for the 2nd Saturday in May and I JUST DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE, OKAY????

Whew.. anyways... now that that's over. I wanted to do a review of Ella's Run. I think (hope.. pray) most everyone can see the benefits of what we're doing with the funds earned from Ella's Run. However, I get SUUUUUPER self conscious every year that maybe people think we're just being greedy or we don't deserve this (we don't actually) or we should stop fundraising or every single one of our sponsors and participants is secretly talking behind our backs and deciding not to support us anymore and every single person I'm going to ask is going to say no and I'm going to want to crawl in a hole for the entire rest of my days.. I know, I get dramatic. Thankfully every single year I am shocked and surprised and moved to tears when people say "Of COURSE! How else can we help? What else do you need donated?" There are some really good people out there..

Anyways, I know exactly what it takes to go to Conference, but it occurred to me that not everyone probably does. As an example, here is a basic estimate breakdown of our trips.

Conference fees: $2500

Airfare: $4000

Hotel: $1500

Extra food/parking/rental car/taxis: $1000

............................

For a grand total of $9000. 

And thats without any extra "fun" stuff. 

We are so so thankful for the generosity we've received to be able to bring our family to these Conferences - it's so important to us. It's absolutely true that every single donation and tshirt bought makes a difference and my all time favorite donation was from the old lady I didn't even know who mailed us a check for $5 because that's what she could give.. I will never forget her. However, the truth is, one Ella's Run barely raises enough money to cover just the Conference fees for one year. Which is why we hold the event every year even though Conference is every 2 years. We can save in the off year to help with the next one coming up. This year will be much less expensive for us since it's in Minnesota and we won't have the cost of airfare, but our hopes are that we can start saving again for the 2020 Conference, which is rumored on the East Coast (not a cheap place to visit I hear..)

I didn't necessarily want to include this as to not appear showy, but I think it's important to some people to see exactly where their money is going. Obviously like I said, this will be our 4th Conference that we've been able to attend due almost entirely to the generosity of our community. In addition as of this year, we will have donated over $2000 back to the CdLS Foundation. It would be easy for us to keep that money to help with more Conferences, but it's important to us to support the ones that have supported us. We have also been able to privately assist other families struggling to afford Conference, and we are paying it forward with my own photography business by donating over $1000 in sessions last year to local fundraisers in our own community. As my business grows I'm looking forward to giving back in even greater ways.

I mentioned earlier that in another 6 years my oldest will be graduating high school and heading off into the world which is just crazy because he's obviously 12 right now and still has trouble tying his shoes sometimes and there is just SO MUCH to teach him still so there's that.. and I know I said I didn't want to talk about it, but it made me think... It's so easy to say "right now isn't a good time" for doing things-such as going to these Conferences. It would have been so easy to look back 5 years ago and say "Nope. It's absolutely not possible for us to attend any of these conferences right now with our small children and growing family. And I remember doing that in Chicago when I heard the next Conference would be in California. I remember sitting there, staring at the screen when they announced the next location and wistfully thinking that it was too bad we wouldn't be able to go and bring all the kids. It would have been so easy to say "next time." Next time things will be different. Next time life won't be so hectic. Next time we won't have a new baby. Next time we'll have more money. If I would have said that though, we would still be waiting for next time. We would have never attended any of these Conferences, gotten any of the important medical advice we've gotten, never connected with dozens of other families. We wouldn't have the friends or connections we have now. We would be pining our life away, waiting for a better time. And guess what? Four years ago wasn't a good time. Two years ago wasn't a good time. This year isn't a great time. And I'm betting 2 more years down the road will be the same story. And there a strong possibility that that sweet baby boy I talked about would be graduating high school in 6 years while we still sat idly by, waiting for a "next time."

I understand there are times in your life that things just don't work out or it's not best for your family to do something and you obviously have to do what's best for you, but I know for us if I would have stayed in my little bubble none of these amazing trips would have happened. Organizing Ella's Run is a huge step out of my comfort zone. I have to, first of all, be organized, call people on the *gasp* telephone, ask for (gulp) money, speak in front of a group of people (ugghhh), plan ahead (not my strong point).. The list goes on and on why I am not qualified for this position. But I am determined to not waste my life waiting for "next time." One of the hardest yet most important lessons CdLS has taught me is that "next time" isn't guaranteed. I am faced with death and the loss of young children from this earth far more than anyone should be. Ella lost another sister this week, just a year younger than her. But the thing I've learned from the strong mothers who stand after their children have gone is they're so glad for the memories. They're so glad for the vacations, the trips, the ballet class, the boat ride, the time they spent together. Life is short. Life for people with CdLS can often be too short. So take the trip. Go for the experience. Make the memories. Get out of your comfort zone. It may not feel like it's the right time, but you never know when there won't be a next time.