Christmas break fun

Ahhh... Christmas break. We SO needed this.

Unending days (or at least a week or two) of no schedules, nowhere to be, nothing we HAVE to do. Just us. Hanging out. Enjoying each other. No rushing around. No gifts to buy. No doctors appointments. Or therapies. Just home.

The last few days I've been able to really truly enjoy my kids. To look into their sweet innocent eyes and see the ways they are growing. To give them the attention they crave and deserve. To just be together.

And I've been able to re-appreciate how hilarious they are...

A few quotes from our week:


Charlie: "Daaadddd..... when are we going to beeeeee there??"
Dad: "We're going to turn up here."
Charlie: "Ooh! Turnips!! I love turnips!"

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Nolan: "Mom.. What will the nursing home smell like?"
Me: "Uhhhh... (pondering this odd, yet legit question) What do you think?"
Nolan: "I don't know... Dirty rats?"

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Dad: "Charlie, will you pray first?"
Charlie: "Yup. Down, Set, HUUUTTT!"

and then at bedtime..

Charlie: "Watch over Tacky, Abe, down Set HUUUTTTT!"

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Nolan: "I wish I could go back to school."
Me: "What?? Why?"
Nolan: "So I could skip rest time for 5 whole days.."

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Charlie: " Look! Santa left us the empty wrapping paper rolls!"
Nolan: "Yeah! Cause he knows we like to play swords with them!"

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while painting window suncatchers..
Me: "Wow Charlie! You painted your Santa all black!"
Charlie: "Yup."
Nolan: "Maybe he got stuck in the chimney."

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and my favorite from today..
Charlie: "Dad!! Listen to this! This is sweet.. Guess what?"
Dad: "What?"
Charlie: "I speaked Spanish today..."
Dad: "Really? What did you say?"
Charlie: "I said 'Cha-cha-cha."

Confessions of a Scrooge

I've never done Christmas cards before.

It's always been one of those things.. You know, the plastering only picture perfect photos of your kids all over Facebook, the Pinterest Perfect blogs highlighting the finest decor for every season, the bragging of your kids skipping ahead a grade, getting 1st in the overall Science Fair, begging for more homework, loving to clean their room, and building handmade recycled wood crafts for homeless orphans...

It just doesn't seem real. People do not look like that all the time. Families are not always smiling. They are not always freshly showered and cleanly clothed and not trying to hurt each other. The weather is not always perfect. The lighting is not always accentuating your highlights and the scenery is not always ideal.

Don't get me wrong.. I'm not a total downer.. I absolutely LOVE receiving Christmas cards from our friends and family. I LOVE checking the mail this time of year and instead of seeing piles of bills, there are a few handaddressed envelopes that I know will make my day. Look at all these people that have never before received a letter in return from me, but think of us every year and send a card anyways..

Thank you! I've just never been able to bring myself to do it before..

But this year is a little different. Maybe it's because I reveal so many bad/embarrassing/REAL secrets of our family on this blog, that I finally feel like I can post a picture of us all clean and smiling and happy looking at the same time (thanks Photoshop!) without feeling like I'm putting on a show.

Although I did seriously consider sending this out..

But I didn't.

Because looking back on the year, of course there were messy times. Of course there were crabby times. Of course there were sick times. Because that's what being a family is about. It's not about having it all together all the time to put on display for the world to see. It's not about organized closets and toothbrush scrubbed floors with Pinterestingly tantalizing meals on the table every night. It's about life. It's about getting down in the trenches, getting dirty and grimy. And getting through it. Together. It's about loving each other. And learning. It's about this crazy journey we're on and the memories we make along the way.

Overall this was a good year. Overall, there were smiles. And laughter. And togetherness. And overall, that's what I want to remember. So..

Merry Christmas from our Family To Yours!

Is Her Life Worth It?

I know why Ella got Salmonella Poisoning..

and I am (eeee!!!) guest blogging about it on my absolute very favorite blog that I'm creepyily obsessed with and secretly want to be *ahem* like to read every once in awhile.. you know.. when I get time...

So click here to head over to my friend Deanna's to read my blog. Warning-it starts the same as a previous post, but don't worry.. it's different. :)

Is her Life Worth It?

Humbled

Immediately after I published my pity party post yesterday I decided I needed a breath of fresh air. I put on my shoes and coat and wandered down to our mailbox, hoping to clear my head and draw some kind of strength from nature, enough to make it through the rest of the day at least.

Boy did I get more than I bargained for..

When I looked in our mailbox, I saw a package. It was from a friend who had read my post last week about our trauma with Ella's holey shoe at the doctor's office and decided to bless me with a pair of nearly-new shoes her daughter had outgrown. She happened to have extra room in the box, so included an adorable outfit as well. I was already smiling as I unfolded these items, and then I opened the Christmas card she had sent along with it. There was a generous gift of money included that she wrote was from a Facebook friend of hers who had read the blog and admired the honesty of it.

Wow. Humbled. After a week of worrying about paying for truck repairs, Christmas presents, and other such things, and then complaining about my "hard" life on my blog and Facebook.. I felt awful. I felt so guilty for not appreciating what I have and for being so selfish to think solely of myself, instead of looking outward like this stranger (I think) did.

That random act of kindness carried me through the rest of the night, and honestly my day went much better. Charlie woke up from his nap in a good mood and we enjoyed a lively game of Chutes and Ladders, we giggled at bedtime, and even though I ended up getting the stomach bug my children so graciously shared with me last night, I still felt uplifted and like I could handle this.

If Ella's life has taught me one lesson (it has taught me A LOT, but bear with me..) it would be that people are generous. People are good. People like to help others. When Ella was sick last year we overwhelmingly experienced the good of people and I vowed to "Pass it on" the best I could. I think I've done an ok job.. there have been times I've reached out to others and tried to bless them, but I know there's also been times I've had great ideas, but for some reason or another didn't follow through with them. I heard a quote somewhere something like, "The smallest act of kindness is better than the greatest of intentions." Guilty.

I often talk myself out of something kind I could do because "Well.. I'm not sure if they really like that," or "Maybe they already have something like that," or "I don't really know them that well," or "Can we even afford that?" I really do think about doing so many things, but I am ashamed to admit that not enough make it to fabrication.

And now there's the tragedy in Connecticut.

Reminding us that although there is so much good in the world, there is also so much evil. My heart and prayers go out to all the families affected by this senseless act. As I hug my children a little tighter tonight I will remember those mothers whose arms are empty. As I prepare supper that is likely to be rejected by at least one family member, I will think of those families who cannot be together tonight. As I wrangle little bodies to keep from fighting, and try to maneuver them into bed I will feel thankful that they are here.

So where can we go from here? What kind of difference can we make in this too-often cruel world? I will tell you first hand that even the smallest act of kindness really can uplift you. The most humblest of gifts, even if they're not your "favorite" can carry you through the hardest of times. The smallest acts really are better than the greatest intentions. What can we do today in our lives to make the world a better place?

What happens if mom makes a cake?

It's been another one of those weeks. It seems like we've had far too many lately.. more than our "fair share." One of those weeks that if there is a cold germ flying around within a 5 mile radius.. all our kids will catch it, even if they haven't gotten over the last one yet. Or if there's a particular, puking GI bug lurking nearby, we'll also be sure to get that too. And some random illness causing a fever at the same time all 3 kids are hacking, puking and whining? Yup.. we'll be sure to catch that too. And if you take a child to urgent care and need to pick up medicine on the way home, the pharmacy is sure to be closed.. One of those weeks where if the husband decides to take a half day of work to go hunting in the 1 inch of snow we have, his tires will be sure to slip on the grass and do about $4000 worth of damage to his truck.. One of those weeks where you decide to print out large sized family pictures to finally! hang on your walls and while trying to flatten them out from being rolled in the tube they came in, your husband absently sits on them and bends the corners all to heck.. One of those weeks where when you actually try to put a dent in the filth you are living in, due to taking care of sick, whiney, clingy children all week, you'll discover the belt to your vacuum needs replaced. One of those weeks where you rush to sew new stockings to hang up for Christmas decor, and after the 4th one you just can't get the fabric to coordinate just right, and have completely run out of motivation, leaving you with "Four Stockings Hung By The Chimney With Care".. in a family of five. One of those weeks where everyone is around-the-clock whiney, crabby, needy, and discouraging and you just don't know what to do to change it around.

I know I've been feeling this way, but I thought I'd been doing a pretty good job of faking a smile and keeping a cheery attitude. Apparently not. It's recently been brought to my attention that my kids are picking up and on the "nothing can go right" mantra. Just today I was looking at a paper Nolan had brought home from school and was just about the throw it in the trash when something made me stop and read the sentences he wrote a little closer. The assignment was to make a prediction about what would happen next. So, for instance under the heading "A snake is under a tent" he wrote, "We will get bit." Makes sense.. and for "Two dogs see a cat," he wrote "They will chase it." Yup.. Clearly accurate statements. But the last one is the one that got me. The statement is "Mom makes a cake." I was hoping to read something along the lines of "We will eat it" or "It tastes yummy" or "We hug and kiss her and tell her she is the best mom in the world and then go to bed early while she enjoys a nice hot bubble bath and daddy cleans the house." Instead this is what I read..

Yes, he wrote, "It will spill." All I can do is shake my head at that one. Sadly.. that is probably much more accurate than any of the very purely fictional statements I came up with.

Things have been rough lately, but somewhere deep down.. very very deep down.. I think I like my kids. I keep having this very-hazy-around-the-edges, distant memory that is quite cloudy and difficult to see through, but it sounds like maybe there is laughter in it? We are enjoying each other's company? We are having fun? And no one is coughing or puking or crying?? I'm not sure because it all seems like a dream in the midst of a nightmare, but I do believe this might have happened at one time in our lives. I found this picture that gives me a clue that this figment of my imagination might actually hold some truth, but I'm not sure..

Who are these nice, genuinely happy-looking, smiling people??

I know I have a lot to be thankful for. I know it could be worse. I know it may sound like I'm unnecessarily complaining.. because I am. Please, just allow me this moment..

This week (and last.. and the one before that.. and the one before that...) reminds me of my friend Deanna's fabulous post from a few months ago. I wish I could come up with my own great analogy, but since I can't I'll just retell hers.. She must have been having "One of those weeks," and compared it to an evergreen tree lit with Christmas lights. The lights are bright and twinkling and beautiful to look at, but think about what's holding them up.. Hard, pokey branches that hurt when you touch them. Branches that, if you try to walk through them, will scratch you and scrape you and hurt until you bleed. But what if you didn't have those branches? What if they weren't there to hold those beautiful lights up? The lights would be laying in a clump on the ground, not beautiful or admirable to look at by anyone passing by.

The bright twinkling lights in our life are the good days. The days highlighted by joy and outlined in laughter. The days everything just seems right in the world. The pokey evergreen branches? They are the hard days. The "one of those weeks" days. They serve to make us stronger and hold us up in the good days, so in the end we're not crumpled in a tangled heap on the floor, but instead shining brightly, weaving effortlessly in and out of those branches, twined together in a beautiful display of love and strength.

It's a wonderful analogy and boy, I hope its true.
If so, we are going to have one heck of a big, full, branchy, poky, scratchy tree..
Let's just hope we get a few lights soon to make it shine. :)

PROOF! I am not a liar

The last few weeks of Ella's therapy appointments have been a bit disrupted by meetings, doctor appointments, and such terribly tragic things such as someone trying to (gasp!) touch her. And what a shame since Ella has such an exciting thing to share as finally taking steps! So today when we had every single one of our therapists present (6 in all..), ready to witness her amazing feat, do you think she seized this golden opportunity to show off her skills? Impressed them all, knocking their socks off, and completely making their day week? Of course not.. she was sick, not feeling herself, terribly clingy.. making a complete liar out of me..

So just so no one goes about spreading rumors about the crazy lady imagining her child is walking, I have PROOF!

Alas! A video of Ella taking some steps. It only took me an hour or so to find the right video to upload (Don't worry.. I had nothing else to do. HA!) and keep in mind this isn't her best work because the too-cute-they-shouldn't-be-legal boots she's wearing are a little hard to walk in, (she's learning early that you pay a price for fashion) but it's all we've got.

So there! I am NOT a crazy lady.. Too much.

The Best Kind of Prayer..

comes from a child. Not only are they faith-filled, innocent, and totally honest, they also can be completely random.

Charlie's prayer from the other night..

"Dear God, watch over... umm.. thank you for.. mom, dad, Ella.. mom, Charlie.. dad, Nolan.. playing at Nana and Papa's, playing outside. Thank you for getting to play with the kitties.. Watch over mom, dad, Nolan.. dad.. mom, Charlie, Ella.. Nolan, dad..."

insert Nolan: "What is he talking about??"

me: "Shhh..."

"Mom, dad, Charlie, Ella.. mom.. Nolan, dad, Ella.. Charlie, mom, dad. Amen. Goo goo."