Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Today you are Five

Today you are five. 

Five years old! 
We've come a long ways baby girl.

You were so tiny. So delicate. 
Such a mystery. Such a fighter. 

We had no idea what to expect from you. No idea how our lives would be changed. 
We were scared, unsure, uncertain of what the future held. 

You haven't disappointed.

If someone would have told me on this day 5 years ago that I would have a five year old who was still mostly non verbal, I would have been heart broken. If they would have told me you were still the size of most 2 year olds, I would have been crushed. If I would have known you would still be wearing diapers at this time, I would have felt despair. If I would have known of all the hospital stays, handfuls of specialists and endless therapies I would have been discouraged.

I'm glad I didn't know. 

Because that's not the whole story. That's not YOUR whole story.

I didn't know so much about the future. I didn't know how you can communicate more with your beautiful eyes than most people can with a thousand words. I didn't know how hard we would fight for you to eat orally and grow and get to where you are. I didn't know how very capable you would be. 

I didn't know how you would excel at school and learn your letters so readily. I didn't know how you would light up our lives and the lives of so many around you.

I didn't know how inspiring you would be.

I don't think about it a lot, but the truth is just like 5 years ago, sometimes the future still scares me. Just like 5 years ago I don't know exactly what to expect or what our lives will look like down the road. But I have learned one thing. That I only have to live for today.

So today we will play doll house. And trains. And paint our nails. Today we will chase your brothers and tackle them and giggle. Today we will play kitchen. And today we will lay your dolls down for a rest and rock them so delicately like you do. Today we will eat cake. And ice cream. And be thankful for every moment we've been given.

Because today.. You are five.
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