I try

Lately I've had a lot of sweet, mushy, I-love-my kids-so-incredibly-much-and-I-cannot-bear-the-thought-of-them-growing-up-one-more-day days. Days where the sunshine feels extra warm upon my shoulders, the giggles ever-present, and the thought of this sweet moment in time ever being over, completely devastating.. Days where I think "Why of course we should have another child.. and then maybe another? Twins?? And shouldn't we adopt or foster too because this.. This right here is what it's all about. THIS is bliss."

Today was NOT one of those days.

Today was one of those hard, grueling, "Why-did-we-ever-start-having-these-heathens-we-call-children-in-the-first-place?" days. A day where every tick of the clock feels like it should have moved the hour hand instead of merely the second hand.. A day where the whining and fighting overtook any semblance of peace and calm, crumpled it up like a bad manuscript (or blog post? except those aren't written on paper.. except when I get an idea during the day but I don't have time to get to the computer.. then they're kindof on paper I guess, right...), and threw it out an 67th story window.. into an inferno. A day where bedtime just cannot come soon enough and you wonder if it is commonplace in some cultures to put your children to bed at 5:00 (or earlier) and you really hope so because somehow that would make it more acceptable in your house too.

A sick day.

Is there anything in the world worse than your child/ren being sick?? Now, let me preface this by saying that I've done SICK. I know what long hospital stays, ambulance rides, NG tubes, surgeries, ventilators, and helicopter life-flights are like.. I'm not talking about that right now. THAT is definitely one of the worst.. My kids aren't that sick right now. Just a little sniffle. But this comes in a close second because that tiny little sniffle somehow manages to transform my normally sweet, enchanting children into MONSTERS. Not the witty, charming monsters of Sesame Street (of 20 years ago I mean.. has anyone seen that show lately? What have they done?!?) But monsters that mothers (and some fathers) old and young, far and near cower in fear from. Whose nighttime dreams are haunted by.. Monsters who fight, whine, don't listen, fight, whine, break stuff, fight whine, spill things, fight, whine, JUST GO TO BED!!

I tried today.. I really did. I tried to make it a fun sick day. I was actually hopefully optimistic at the prospect of having all three of my littles home today. It just doesn't feel right when they're not all here.. (Yes I've contemplated homeschooling. No I don't think it would work for us.) And there is a slight possibility that I was also looking forward to sleeping in a few minutes, enjoying a cup of cream coffee and the morning news, not having to get everyone dressed, fed, and out the door by 7:30, and enjoying some movie/cuddle time with my boys. Of COURSE that's not the reason I kept them home, but it was a perk. ( - :

It didn't really go well from the start.

I tried playing Go Fish with them. One would inevitably get upset when he lost (or Ella tried to eat their cards).

I tried being patient while reminding them over and over and OVER to please blow their nose and then wash their hands whenever they would sniffle their snot back up their nose and into their raspy little throats (sorry for the graphic). My patience wore thin.

I tried getting the Gator out for them to ride. The battery was dead (Special thanks to Someone who said they would charge it last night. Not mentioning any names but he does live in this house..).

I tried making Chicken Noodle Soup for my sick family. I was out of carrots. (A 'real' thanks to my wonderful father-in-law for bringing me some.. and movies for the kids.. and staying to entertain Ella while I completely took advantage of his presence by chopping up veggies, making noodles, disinfecting the counters, washing bottles, then the rest of the dishes-hey I didn't want the sink of hot soapy water to go to waste.. and he will probably never volunteer to bring me carrots, or ANYTHING for that matter, ever again..).

I tried keeping my house and floors semi-clean today. When I stepped out of the room to talk on the phone to a friend, the "outside" cat got in, jumped on the counter, and dragged my (cooked) chicken carcass all over the floor.

I tried truly feeling empathetic for my children that they obviously don't feel good and their poor sniffling bodies just can't help it. They made it increasingly difficult with their never ending carousel of fighting and whining. (Charlie told me today, "When you're sick, you're mad." 'You' being the general population.. not 'you' meaning me, the person he was talking to.. I think.)

I tried making homemade bread to go with our soup, thinking that a healthy, nourishing, Grandma-inspiring, antioxidant rich meal would make even the sickest of sicks feel better. I made a mistake. If you've ever wondered what bread minus the 5 tsp of yeast the recipe called for looks like, wonder no more...

So stale-ish Saltine crackers it was.. I tried.

Yet still I press on. I refuse to give up.

At this very moment, I am trying to drink a glass of wine before I go to bed. I am confident that this is something I can do.