Tubes and Prayers

Tomorrow we are doing the inevitable.. something I've put off doing since.. well.. Ella's birth I guess. We are getting tubes placed in her ears. I know it's a pretty "easy" and "routine" surgery, but easy and routine are two words that don't seem to exist in Ella's vocabulary. Ella has the teensy tiniest ear canals, making it extremely hard, even with the most advanced microscopes, for anyone to see what exactly is going on in there. But since she has never technically passed a hearing test there is reason for our doctors and audiologists to believe there could be a fluid blockage in her middle ear which I've heard it explained, could make hearing sound like she's underwater.

That could explain why she doesn't say certain sounds like 'ba' or 'da'. Or it might not. If there is fluid in her ears that could be throwing off her balance, which could also explain why she's not walking yet. Or it might not. Us waiting so long to do this procedure might have given her ear canals time to grow, making it easier for the doctor to get the tubes in. Or it might not have.

See why I'm having a bit of a hard time with this surgery? There's so many unknowns. It might help her hearing. Or it might not. It might help her speech. Or it might not. It might help her balance. Or it might not. They might be able to get the tubes in. Or they might not.

It isn't a required surgery. It's optional. It isn't medically necessary. We aren't in an emergency situation where we have to make a split second decision about what we think is right right now. No, I have had months and months to agonize over this. I actually canceled the first surgery I had scheduled at a different hospital back in August because I just didn't feel good about it. Or maybe I didn't like driving in that city.. But something our ENT said at our last appointment helped me make the decision to do it now.

He said that no, it isn't necessary right now. And if we wanted to wait 6 or so months to schedule it to allow her ear canals to get a little bigger, we could. It probably won't make much of a difference. But, he said, if we want to give her the best shot at hearing 100%, if we want to give her the best chance at a larger vocabulary, if we want to give her the best balance we can, then we should do it now.

And that's exactly what we want to give our Ella girl. The best chance. We want to do everything we can to give her the best shot at life. To be the best she can be. So tomorrow I will be leaving my house in the dark, quiet freezing cold hours of 4:30 in the morning to do just that. Give my baby the best chance of walking, talking, hearing... the best shot at life

So of course we would appreciate any and all prayers for Ella. That if they need to get an IV in they'll be able to without too much trouble with her tiny veins. That the doctor will be able to get the tubes in her ears. That if there is any problem with her airway they'll be able to find it (Oh yeah.. they're also examining her airway while she's under since she makes a kindof wheezy sound every time she takes a deep breath.) That she comes out of the anesthesia well. That we have safe travels. That a certain someone who has a tendency to shut the alarm off when it goes off before 7 8 will be able to wake up on time. That there is enough coffee in the world to sustain me there and back. That the surgery will be a huge success and Ella will start hearing better. And talking. In full sentences. And walking. Running. Climbing up stairs and jumping through hoops. By next week.....

Too much? Ok.. just prayers that surgery goes well will do so we can get back to enjoying life with this girl.