What a beautiful, wonderful spring day it was here in Nebraska. 70 degrees, sunny, slight breeze... Ahhhh....
To celebrate this glorious day, the kids and I decided to take a walk to the park. I had visions of us playing together, laughing, making wonderful memories.
It was so gorgeous out, it would have been impossible to imagine anything short of frolicking together through these green fields surrounding us. Very strikingly similar to the Von Trap children on The Sound of Music actually... Doe a deer. A female deer... Anyone??
Anyways, the walk started out great. Nolan was riding his bike, Charlie was in his silly 4-year old mood, and Ella was sitting nicely in her stroller without me having to carry her twisting, squirmy body for 3 sweaty miles like the last time I foolishly attempted a walk...
Unfortunately when we arrived at the park, there were two terribly behaved boys there. They didn't listen, talked back to their mother, joined a park buddy in using mean words, disrespected others' things, and just used plain ol' awful manners.
But the really unfortunate part is.... those boys belonged to me.
It's easy to blame their awful behavior on other things.. The 'park buddy' was actually the one who started using the mean words. My boys were tired. They were hungry. They aren't feeling 100% with their colds/allergies. Blah blah blah...
Bottom line is: My usually well-behaved children seem to have become a thing of the past. And this is my call to action.
I want to raise my boys into Men of honor. Men of character. Men who stand up for what they believe in and do the right thing, even when others aren't.
That's why I am so disappointed in their behavior tonight...
We have invested so much in them. We have spent SO much time and energy teaching them right from wrong, instilling biblical values. We have spent countless hours making them feel loved and secure, spending time with them, playing games and make-believe. We have guided them, taught them, loved them...And it physically hurts to see the little hooligans toss it all aside in one night of utter humiliation.
How did this happen???
When they were using means words (ok.. it was 'poopy') I actually felt like I could hear them as surly teenagers, cussing us out in a rage of anger. When they were stomping on a frisbee someone left at the park, in my mind I was actually seeing my future sons, graffiti-ing obscene images on the side of the school building. And when they were disregarding my cries to "use your manners!!" I envisioned them dropping out of school to live in their drug dealer girlfriend's mom's trailer...
Am I overreacting????
I wish I could say I handled the situation with dignity and used the night as a teaching/learning experience.
I did stay calm.. until we got home and Nolan threw his dirty shoe right smack on top of Ella's leftover supper. What was that about the straw that broke the camel's back??
Let's just say they are both unable to go to ANYONE'S house (yes, even Grandma and Grandpa's for after church breakfast-harsh I know) until they prove to me that they do, in fact, have ears to listen, mouths to encourage others, (Please-no snarky comments on the quality of my 'encouraging' words) and hands to help others instead of harming.
I wish I could say we turned the night around and went to bed with loving snuggly thoughts.
I wish I could say I was relaxing with a glass of wine right now.
Heck-I just wish I could say the kids are sleeping. Unfortunately, as I currently type, Ella has awakened from what I thought was bedtime (apparently to her it was merely a 1 minute pre-bedtime nap) and is hanging sideways and upside down off my lap. Not to mention, she has been extra gassy tonight (B.A.D. for a CdLS kid). This sweatshirt has seen more pukey spit up tonight than I care to think about... Nolan is 'sleeping' in our room because Charlie woke up screaming (no doubt having nightmares of an ugly monster disguised as his mother threatening to take away Christmas), subsequently waking a crabby Nolan up, who did not take kindly to that. Charlie is STILL screaming and coughing (See-I told you he was sick!!) and will NOT calm down.
Oh-did I mention JJ is gone tonight?
I know they're only 4 and 6. I know they're just kids. I know it's probably "normal".
But I don't want them to be normal, average.
I want them to have big dreams. I know I do.
I dream for them to be bright beaming lights in this dark world. I dream for them to make a difference, to change things for the better. I dream for them to be the kids who stand up and say "Hey-that's not right" when someone is being bullied.
Not frisbee-stomping, poopy-name calling, no-manners boys.
Are we on the path to juvee?
Seriously-this frazzled mama would love some encouraging comments!
Thanks so much!!